Saturday, August 16, 2008

Financial sabotage?

So I took the "test your financial knowledge" quiz at BillsIQ and while some of the questions were irrelevant, it was interesting. I say irrelevant because they ask about your credit card debt a lot- um- what if you don't have any. That's always been my problem with multiple choices. NONE OF THE ABOVE. y'know. For the record, I got an 87% but with irrelevant questions, I don't know how effective it was.

Here's something they didn't consider. My husband likes to listen to salespeople. Plus, he's a sucker.

He reads email spam, especially when it's from foreigners who plan to send deposit large sums of money in his account. Lat year he spent about 7 hours on the phone with some guy in Zimbabwe whose family was exiled after the execution of his father. They wanted my husband to help them set up an American bank account, so that he and his sister could come move to the states and invest in a telecommunications business. All he had to do was fly to London to sign some paperwork. When he called them & said "I can't go to London right now, they found him an alternate branch of the Bank of London that was in Canada. Finally, they left him alone when he convinced them that he couldn't afford to go anywhere. Imagine, though. He gave them his phone number and communicated via multiple phone calls over a 2-3 week time period. Can you imagine.

Another time, a car drives up & down our street knocking on every door. A beat up old red and rusted jalopy with a broken side mirror. Two greasy guys are knocking on doors while I"'m making lunch. Next thing I know he's walking him through the house giving them the tour "We have six daughters" bla bla bla "This is their bedrooms..." bla bla bla "this window needs replaced..." bla bla bla.....I tried giving him the evil eye and he said "Hey honey, what color siding do you think we should do?" To make a long story short, I go out on the porch and hes filling out a credit application "What's your social security number?" Um- I forgot. Luckily they can process it without mine. So when I signed it with the made up name of Lucy Rizzo, I over-wrote his numbers to protect him.

Then, I called his mother and told on him. She's been the victim of identity theft, and she guards her credit obsessively. Surely, she can yell at him about it better than I can.

When we were running the restaurant, he'd sit for HOURS and talk with salespeople. He'd have them come back for follow up appointments like a hundred times. Luckily 90% of the time he'd say "Ask my wife" and I wouldn't even listen to their pitch, Id just say no. I am the anti-salesperson-listener. Every minute I spend listening to a salesperson is a minute I'm not getting paid for.

Whenever we go shopping and the clerk comes out & says "Can I help you" He always has a conversation "We're looking for the backpacks" and I'd rather walk circles around the store for 45 minutes than have backpack shopping help. I don't want to know what kind of backpack the clerk has, I don't care to discuss with the clerk all the things we'll be doing with our backpack either.

I can't even stand it in the grocery store when you ask "What aisle is the cream cheese on?" and they physically walk you there instead of saying "Aisle 3 across from the eggs." I don't want to walk with you, OK. Here- let's stop off and pick up some jello on the way. I'm not in the mood to get the cream cheese now, just tell me what aisle its on. I'll go there when I feel like it.

He also has the bagger walk us to the car. I'm not always even sure I'm going to remember where I parked, so I damn sure don't want some bagger walking me out there. And then loading stuff into my trunk while I do what- watch?

He says he's keeping them busy, keeping them employed. I say he's driving up the cost of our food. TELL me where the fucking cream cheese is and get back to work.

I think I'd be a terrible diva.

Anyway- the Bills IQ thing- we're just in flux right now, house-hunting and all. Haven't really thought about college funds but we know we need to. This year, we have a bunch of essay contests and other scholarship things our oldest will be participating in. Try the test, though and see what your score is. Maybe it can help you with financial planning or something.

Lotsa crazy crud going down at the Hannigan house. Don't miss another post,

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